Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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