The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
