the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
