At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
