Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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