How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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