just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
