i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
