Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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(315): View more from New York

I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

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(716): View more from New York

I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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(585): View more from New York

Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.

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