During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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