I heard we made out
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
