I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
