I love black thongs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
