He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You pole danced in your parka.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
