This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
