Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
