he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
