I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
