weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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