Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My cat gives me a boner
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
