I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
