and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Who died my cat blue again?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
