I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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