Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
