you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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