Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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