No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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