why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
