so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she peed on how many people?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize