Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
