i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
