Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
