I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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