NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
