I wish I could teleport
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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