What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
