So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
