He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize