like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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