Do you still have your period?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
