i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize