if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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