im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
