How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize