dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
