Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
a search helicopter?!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
