Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize