Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
