there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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