Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
