if i can run in heels then i can drive
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize