This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
