I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
