Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I will be naked everywhere
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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