You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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