I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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