Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
