she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
