I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
