Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
