Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
